


Kiss and don't tell

by Molliartytho



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Fluff, Idiots in Love, M/M, SO MUCH FLUFF, So many kisses, are so in love, these losers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-14
Updated: 2016-02-14
Packaged: 2018-05-20 08:23:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5998695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Molliartytho/pseuds/Molliartytho
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky and Steve had their first kiss in 1933 and they don't get to have another one until 2016</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kiss and don't tell

**Author's Note:**

> I got the prompt on tumblr  
> my url is stevestuckyonbucky if you want to check me out over there or send me more prompts I'm always up for those  
> enjoy this stucky trash

**1933**

Their first kiss wasn't exactly planned or expected.

Steve had just been beaten up, _again_ , and Bucky was so done with him getting into fights for stupid reasons.

And when Steve started arguing with Bucky and telling him off… well Bucky didn't know what else to do to get him to shut him up, so he leaned down and he kissed him.

 It lasted maybe three seconds.

They both froze and Bucky's cheeks got red from embarrassment. He hoped and prayed to whatever God was listening that he hadn't just ruined their friendship, because he needed Steve Rogers in his life. And Steve needed Bucky to take care of him when he was being an idiot, which was always.

Steve's eyes were wide and he just looked at Bucky for what felt like a very long time before he leaned up and kissed him again.

It was new, slightly weird, but not unwelcome. This one lasted longer. It was soft and tentative and gentle. Steve didn’t want to stop.

But Bucky stopped him after a few more moments because they were still in that alleyway and he didn't want people to see for fear that Steve would get beat up even more than usual.

They didn't even talk about it much other than Steve telling him quietly "it was nice..." on the way back home and Bucky couldn't repress a smirk, because he had been Steve's first kiss.

But they had never been big on talking about their feelings, so they left a lot of things unspoken, unsaid.

And then the war happened.

Steve was focusing so much on trying to get into the army, and Bucky got shipped out. There wasn't time to talk about it. But Steve never forgot. He didn't want to. When this was all over he planned to kiss Bucky lots more. Be his fella if he wanted him to be. Laws and other people and society be damned.

Then the serum happened and he wondered if Bucky would still want him now that he didn't look the same. He’s been pining after his best guy for what felt like a very long time, and now that he looked like a match for him he was beginning to doubt himself.

He kept busy with the show and being _Captain America_ and tried not to think about how much he missed Bucky and about how much he wanted to kiss him again.

He wished they'd talked about it and had more time to figure out these feelings together. They always did better together, and they both knew it, but were both too stubborn to bring it up first.

When Steve learned Bucky might be dead his whole body wanted to shut down. He wanted to curl up into a tiny ball and be back in Brooklyn. Home in Brooklyn back to how he was before.

Small and sick, but with Bucky.

He just wanted to be back with Bucky.

So the second he laid eyes on him when he went in to rescue the 107th he was filled with relief. Relief and the desperate need and desire to kiss him again. Kiss him and tell him how much he meant to him.

There would be time for that later first he had to get him safe. Always something else they had to do first.

But then there wasn't time for kissing or talking about feelings. Nope. With Bucky recovering and acting like he didn't have anything to recover from, and fighting Nazis and going on missions?

No time for feelings.

Steve didn't know how to start the conversation and Bucky wasn't really okay despite what he kept telling everyone.

So Steve decided to wait and not tell him he loved him. And definitely not kiss him.

Even though there were times he saw…. Well he saw that look in Bucky’s eyes. A fond and longing look that made Steve's whole body warm and butterflies come to his stomach. It was especially difficult to not lean in and just take that kiss they both secretly wanted.

But neither of them made the first move so it didn't happen.

What did happen was Bucky fell off that train and Steve had never felt such a loss before.

He ached with how much he missed him and how much he regretted not telling him how he felt.

It was his fault that Bucky fell. His fault and he had to live with that for the rest of his life.

When he crash landed that plane his last thoughts were of Bucky and of how maybe they'd be together again in heaven or hell wherever they were going and he could kiss him again.

And then they were both gone and any thoughts of them being in love or kissing were buried in the ice.

* * *

 

**2016**

It had been 83 years since the first time Bucky Barnes had kissed Steve Rogers.

But Steve didn't think it was going to happen again anytime soon. He doubted Bucky remembered the kiss. He was alright with that, because Bucky was _alive_ and back with him, and they were together again even if only a platonic way.

He was recovering and getting better every day.

Some days were better than others, sure, but he had those good days and there were more good than bad so Steve took that as a win.

Things were so different now. They themselves were different.

It wasn’t just Bucky, but Steve was different too. There was no way Bucky could want him like that still...was there?

Had he ever? Even a little bit? Was that one kiss going to haunt Steve forever?

He wasn't going to start that conversation, as much as he regretted the last time, he knew he would regret it more if Bucky hated him for feeling like that. The anxiety that swelled up in his chest when he thought about Bucky rejecting or hating him made it easy enough to not say anything.

He was sure that Bucky couldn't remember the kiss anyway so what was the point?

But there were still those longing looks. And sometimes Bucky would look confused and shake his head like he was trying to remember something more clearly.

Steve wished he could figure out what that memory was.

They were healing together. They lived together just like they used to, in a bigger apartment than before, but still they were together. It was comfortable and simple and very _them_. It was a home. Their home.

Everything was settling into a nice routine and the only hiccups were the missions they went out on.

On a particularly hard mission, Steve decided to pick a fight with the biggest toughest bad guy and got himself injured. Not a scratch on the side injured, but enough that he needed serious medical attention.

He was unconscious for most of the ride over to the hospital, except for when the pain caused by his injuries jerked him awake.

Bucky was sitting by his side, waiting and watching, when he woke up.

He was groggy from all the meds they had pumped into him. He guessed they over did it this time? Judging by how he felt.

"Bucky? This heaven or hell?" He asked in a strained voice. It sounded far away to him like he wasn’t really talking.

He heard Bucky breathe a sigh of what sounded like relief.

"You're such a dumb ass." Bucky muttered and moved so he was standing beside the bed and looking down at Steve.

Steve chuckled, but it hurt so he cringed a little

"Yeah...been told that before."

Bucky reached up and ran his fingers through his hair gently a few times and Steve swallowed hard, because Bucky was only like this with him when he was hurt and Steve loved it more than he should have.

He wasn't going to ask him to stop.

"Thought I was gunna lose you...you got really hurt you idiot. Why do you keep throwing yourself into danger, huh?" Bucky asked him, worry clear in his voice and on his face. It didn’t look like he’d slept in the last few days. Steve wondered distantly how long he’d been out of it.

"I didn't. Just doin my job Buck it's an occupational hazard." Steve replied, shifting so he could try and stretch out a little bit.

"Your job isn't to get yourself killed, you punk." Bucky was glaring at him now and Steve felt a little attacked.

He was just trying to save people. Save the world. That's all.

"But I didn't get killed. M'fine." Steve said and looked away from Bucky's face, looking down at his hands instead.

"You call five broken ribs, six bullet wounds, countless scratches and bruises and a fractured wrist fine? I get that you heal fast but that's not fine Steve." Bucky argued with him, sounding as put out as Steve felt.

"Buck I got the serum so I could help people and now I am. So what if I get hurt along the way? It's not that big a deal because I'm healing aren’t I?"

Bucky let out an exasperated sigh and poked him in the chest with a metal finger, making Steve’s face scrunch up in annoyance

" _So what?_ Stevie I don't like seein you hurt any more than you like seein me hurt. So when you go off and do stupid shit like this I get worried. And _it is_ a big deal.”

Steve was quiet for a second, but then opened his mouth to argue with him again, but Bucky let out a frustrated sound, one he made often before shoving him. Before Steve could get any words out Bucky leaned in and pressed his lips against the blond’s.

Steve froze. But he didn't push him away he just reveled in the kiss.

He thought about how after Bucky fell from the train he thought he'd never kiss him again. He also thought about how much he wanted to be able to kiss him back, but he couldn't move.

His brain wouldn't let him. He was in shock.

When Bucky pulled away his cheeks were slightly pink and he was biting at his bottom lip slightly, something he did when he was nervous. He couldn’t seem to meet Steve’s eyes.

Steve was wide eyed and for just a moment was motionless but then, just like their first kiss a lifetime ago, he leaned back up and kissed him again.

Bucky leaned into it more, one of his hands moving to rest on his cheek, and he sighed into the kiss quietly.

"M'still mad at you, punk. Don't think this changes the fact that you were and still are a dumb ass..." Bucky whispered against his lips but Steve was too busy going in for another kiss to respond.

They stayed like that for a while, kissing softly, tentatively, going slow until Bucky accidentally bumped his side and Steve groaned in pain.

They broke apart, both breathless and Bucky's eyes were wide

"Sorry, sorry I didn't.. Shit I didn't mean to, are you alright? Do I need to get the doctor?"

Reaching up for him, Steve gently took his hand and linked their fingers together

"Barely felt it. Was otherwise occupied." Steve said softly, squeezing his hand lightly as if accepting his apology.

There was a slight nod and more lip biting on Bucky’s part before he started to speak again.

"Stevie...can we... I mean we used to do that right? Kiss and touch and... Love each other." Bucky asked, getting that look on his face that he gets when he can't remember something right and needs Steve to help him.

Steve's cheeks go red and Bucky makes a small helpless sound at the back of his throat. His flesh hand reaching out to brush against his cheek, tracing the blush with his fingers tips

"We had to...I mean look at you. I was so gone on you back then. Still am."

Steve's blush just got worse and he knew if he wasn't wearing a shirt Bucky would see the blush that was down to his collarbone by now.

"We...didn't really. Just, just one kiss." Steve said looking down at their combined hands, "but I wished there had been more." He admitted quietly.

Bucky was silent for a minute. That was something he did now. He thought about things more before he said anything. Sometimes it drove Steve crazy but he never said anything about it. It was something Bucky needed so he kept the frustration to himself.

After what felt like an eternity, Bucky finally asked quietly

"Why didn't you say anything?"

Shrugging and then groaning because it hurt, Steve cleared his throat lightly and licked his lip a little, his mouth suddenly feeling dry, before responding

"I didn't want to mess anything up in case you didn't feel the same way... I couldn't lose you because I was feelin one way and you felt different."

After another long pause Bucky snorted out a laugh and Steve felt his face shift into an expression of confusion

"What?"

Leaning down to press another small lingering kiss to his lips, Bucky repeated softly

"Nothin. You're just a dumb ass."

He kissed him again

"You really think I could love you any different than you love me?"  Bucky asked and looked up into his eyes, Steve could never hide anything from Bucky when he was looking him in the eyes. Never had been able to.

"Well...after that first kiss and you didn't say anything about it I just figured you didn't want to.. That you didn't feel the same." Steve answered him honestly. His shoulders sagged back into the bed and he just let himself relax for a moment. Bucky was still holding his hand which meant he must not have said anything too stupid. He liked it.

Holding Bucky’s hand.

Bucky smiled slightly but sighed as he looked over Steve's face and saw he was being completely truthful

"Well while you were doing that, I was waiting for you to come to me and tell me you wanted it. We're a couple'a dumb asses you an me."

Steve just nodded because that was very true. He felt kind of like he was floating. On the one hand it could be that he was so happy Bucky felt the same way and that after this much time he could finally kiss him again. On the other it could be the rest of the drugs making their way out of his system.

Maybe a little of both.

“So…you want to be with me like I want to be with you?” Steve had to ask, an almost shy look on his face.

Bucky smiled and leaned in to kiss him again and Steve lifted his hands up to cup his face, feeling his skin all warm and smooth beneath his fingertips. Actions speak louder than words and Steve knew his answer already. He didn’t have to ask again.

"I love you Bucky." He whispered against his lips.

They both already knew that, but he could say it now. And he was going to say it as often as he could to make up for lost time. He was going to say it for every time he wished he would have back in the day. So at least twice a day. Sometimes more.

"I love you too, Stevie." Bucky said right back to him, capturing his lips in another kiss before continuing in that smooth, easy, teasing tone of voice that was so Bucky Steve wanted to cry

"And I'm gunna kiss you lots now. One for every time I wanted to back in the forties and since I came back to you a year ago."

“That a lot, Buck?” Steve asked, smiling up at him and moving his fingers to trace down his neck and feel more of his skin.

“Hell yeah it is. I’ll bet the memories I don’t have are chalk full of more times I wanted to kiss you so you’d better be ready for so many.”

The smile that lit up Steve's face made Bucky's whole body fill up with a warm, in love, happy feeling.

It tripled in intensity as Steve said

"I want as many as you'll give me, for as long as you’ll have me."

“I’ll want you forever Stevie.”

It had been 83 seconds since Bucky Barnes had last kissed Steve Rogers and he wasn’t planning on going much longer than that without kissing him again for a very _very_ long time. They had a lot of time to make up for.


End file.
